Merry Christmas, 13 Reasons Why fans! The holidays are here early with the gift of a new character nobody asked for! While the Netflix writers are off having drinks thinking their shit don’t stink, we’re here to set the record straight: season 3 of 13 Reasons Why sucks! No one wants to watch The Redemption of a Rapist, and most of all NOBODY wants to listen to some new girl named Ani (pronounced “Ah-Nee”) narrate the next 13 hours of his/her life…
What’s worse than Ani narrating the entirety of season 3 of 13 Reasons Why? We can’t think of many things, but just imagine if Ani narrated your own life! How boring and cheesy she would make it be, and make no mistake, she’d have some smug know-it-all thoughts about you and who you are.
Ah-Nee is an Oh-No for TV and a hard lesson learned for television writers worldwide: Show; don’t tell. And if you want a new narrator, you need a whole new series. Once you’re on the third season of any series, you can’t expect viewers to care about some nobody character when they’ve already invested 26 hours of their life in the other 2600 characters in your show.
Here’s hoping the scathing reviews of 13 Reasons Why season 3 will set these hack writers straight for the fourth and final season. But seeing as how they’re already filming season 4, that’s quite the long shot…
Ah, well, there’s always hate-watching and drinking games every time Ah-Nee interrupts a scene with her cheesy, smugtastic dialogue! Settle in, kids, because this is gonna be a looooooooooooong season!